Beer Warning Labels.
Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer
manufacturers have
accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be
placed immediately on all beer containers...
WARNING Consumption of alcohol may make you think you
are whispering when you are not...
WARNING CONSUMPTION of alcohol is a major factor in
dancing like an asshole..
WARNING CONSUMPTION of alcohol may cause you to tell
the same
boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN...
WARNING CONSUMPTION of alcohol may cause you to thay
shings like thish..
WARNING CONSUMPTION of alcohol may lead you to
believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning..
WARNING CONSUMPTION of alcohol may leave you
wondering what the hell happened to your pants..
WARNING CONSUMPTION of alcohol may make you think you
have mystical Kung Fu powers..
WARNING CONSUMPTION of alcohol may cause you to roll
over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't
remember)...
WARNING CONSUMPTION of alcohol is the leading cause
of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead...
WARNING CONSUMPTION of alcohol may create the
illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than
some really, really big guy named FRANZ..
WARNING CONSUMPTION of alcohol may lead you to
believe you are
invisible..
WARNING CONSUMPTION of alcohol may lead you to think
people are laughing WITH you..
WARNING CONSUMPTION of alcohol may cause an influx in
the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to
literally disappear...
WARNING CONSUMPTION of alcohol may actually CAUSE
pregnancy..
